


Shut Up, Armin

by Zeds_Dead



Series: What SHOULD Have Happened [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Arguments, Armin Is Annoying, Awkward Conversations, Canon - Manga, Crack Fic, Explicit Language, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Short One Shot, The Fucking Ocean, chapter 81
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 09:48:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6798988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He heard the snarl but didn't notice the incoming caramel fist until it was too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shut Up, Armin

**Author's Note:**

> I can't help it...

Eren could quite happily have just stayed where he was, lying still and calm and unconcerned about anything titan-related. It was peaceful and quiet, a far cry from the way his life had been going recently and the brunette was rather content at the break in proceedings. That was until a shrieking voice pierced through his serenity, high pitched and shrill like a tiny screw was being driven into his eardrum. It made little sense at first, fraught words which held no meaning and the shifter tried to block it out and get back to blessed sleep, ignoring the incessant chattering that disturbed his rest. 

A blade made an appearance and Eren groaned, knowing he was about to be ripped from his dream state and the cries became louder, actual language filtering in. 

"Eren! Wake up! Let's go see the ocean!" 

Fucking ocean. What the fuck? Doesn't he know we're in the middle of some serious shit right now and all he can think about is damn water? Struggling to remain fused with his larger form, the youth gave up and allowed himself to be dragged out, sticky tendrils of flesh tugged away as his human body flopped onto the wall. Wall? Oh yea. That bastard drop-kicked me up here, he recalled with anger. What a prick. Blinking to clear his muggy vision, green eyes took in the scene - skinny ass looking colossal approaching with his usual steaming aura, destroyed buildings and Armin, the last sight possibly the most irritating at the moment.

Regaining some semblance of self, Eren knelt and gathered his thoughts, blonde friend joining him with an expression of cool and collected assurance; he'd had an idea. It was obvious. 

"You do know I can hear fine without having to mention the ocean, right?"

"B-but Eren…I had to get to you…to the real you…"

"Yea, 'come on you dick' would have worked just as well." Shaking his head, he ran a hand through chocolate locks and fixed onto the wide blue discs that loomed close. "You and that fucking ocean, Armin. It's an illness."

"I thought you wanted to see it too?" Indignant squeaks came from the blonde, scowl now on his face as a full blown argument began to surface. 

"Yes I do but seriously, get some new material! Look around you! What's been going on anyway, where is everyone?"

"No Eren, let's go back a step. Don't you have the same goals as me anymore? We used to be so optimistic, you and me. Kill them all, go outside the walls, discover sand and birds and the oc…"

"You say that word one more time Armin, one more fucking time and I swear…" Pointing, the still groggy teen got ready to explode, irritated beyond belief. 

"What?! You'll what?!" 

"I'll transform and bitch slap you so hard, you'll fly all the way to your precious ocean!" Snapping and squabbling, neither male seemed bothered by the nearing figure of the colossal, hideous permanent grin within reach as they exchanged insults and threats, built up tension expelled in a tirade of childish gripes. 

"…and that was only because I came up with the plan!"

"Your plans suck, Armin. Jean's better than you at this shit, and that's saying something."

"You…you…bastard!" Turning pink, the smaller guy seethed and clenched his fists, prepared to swing for his soon to be ex-buddy as they both stood, facing off and puffing their chests in a display of superiority. 

"Just…fuck…just shut up Armin!" 

Before any punches could be thrown, a presence on the outside of the wall made itself known, a whistle of greeting given and the two angry people looked down, mouths open in disbelief. 

"Is that…Levi? Riding a titan?" Wide eyes stared as the oddly familiar 15 meter class ran over, hair remarkably well kept for one of these beasts and a small figure was holding onto the golden strands as he got jolted and thrown around. Faint grumbles could be heard as the previously warring friends shared a glance between them, one which meant nothing more than 'are you shitting me?'. Armin motioned for Eren to hold on piggy-back style as they scaled the smooth surface, one now pock-marked by boulder holes and they came to rest at the correct height. 

Impressive brows sat on the newcomer's large face, right arm constantly moving as if trying it on for size and another pair of passengers alighted on the beefy shoulder to join their Corporal. 

"Levi, what's going on? Where have you been?"

"Eren, while you were taking a nap or whatever it is you do in that carcass, we've been busy."

"Who is this? It's not…?"

"Yes, this is the Commander. Show some respect." Neither could quite fathom what had happened in the short space of time and a wink was offered from an enormous face. "And don't you look all pleased with your fucking self. Next time, make sure you take it easy. Nearly threw me off, you big bastard." A giant nose nudged into the pale man, making him stumble slightly into Armin. 

"Sir, are you ok? How…what…when...?" Grey eyes rolled and a kind elbow was given to the huge cheek, reprimanding tone muttering sideways and a decidedly candid answer came out like it meant nothing. 

"Well Arlert, the beastial pelted us with rocks, sent chaos amongst the ranks, I fucked Erwin, took down the gathered titans along with that furry piece of shit, injected Erwin with the serum and came to see what you lazy pricks were doing. That about sums it all up." No reasonable response was available, one glaring addition to the story which was slipped in nonchalantly and an awkward silence permeated the air. "Questions?" 

"Umm…I…err…" Eren tried but failed. 

"Out with it, brat. We haven't got all fucking day." 

"Sir…Levi…" Sighing, the brunette shrugged and went for the clean option. "What's our next move?"

"Get rid of that." Pointing up, the youngest members of the group followed a porcelain finger and suddenly remembered what it was they were supposed to be doing as another push nuzzled into Levi. "Calm down, Erwin. The little shit will help too." 

Armin smiled - finally things looked like they were going their way and he spoke quietly, however not soft enough. "We can actually end this. Bring them down and go see that ocean after all." He heard the snarl but didn't notice the incoming caramel fist until it was too late.

"I told you to SHUT UP, ARMIN!"


End file.
